Bookstores and Puppies
by Mamberz987
Summary: Poor Seto just wants to spend some peace and quiet at his favorite bookstore. A certain blonde employee has different plans, however. SetoxJoey!
1. Kaiba

Hey there, lovely readers! This is another attempt to postpone plowing through my writer's block with my other story. I work at a bookstore, so I've always wanted to write a story for Seto and Joey in a bookstore. And it would be cute, and funny, and life would be good. And then it turned into _this_. Heh, actually, it's not bad. I was going to do it all in a long one-shot. But I'm tired, so I shall split it and write the rest very soon. Enjoy, my loves!

My disclaimer: Oh, shoot. I challenged Kaiba so I could have Joey all to myself. And then he set my hair on fire. -sob-

My forewarning: Seto and Joey together shall be coming! And the two are going to be just a little OOC. Because Seto was just so much fun to write in this! n.n

**Bookstores and Puppies**

* * *

Kaiba loved books.

He loved everything about them: The worlds a book could take you to, the excitement before starting a promising new read, the satisfaction of turning the last page. He even loved the smell of freshly printed paper, and the cracking sound the spine of a book could make when opened all the way for the very first time.

As such, it would be reasonable to stand if one were to say that Kaiba loved bookstores.

Which he did. After a long hard day of staring at a computer screen, and occasionally on the weekends, the tall brunette loved to drive to his favorite bookstore and peruse the numerous shelves. He would pick a title that seemed promising, find a comfy armchair, and read the next hour or three away.

He sometimes brought Mokuba, who also appreciated a good book, but the adorable rugrat always seemed to attract the (unwanted) attention of every female in the building – including the workers – to his reading spot. On other days, when the powerful CEO was alone, they knew to keep their distance. His ocular fire that he would shoot at anyone within five feet of his person would see to that.

It was true that he had his own personal library at home that could probably house a small country. He had most books known to man, and the comfiest chairs every made. Yet, even after all that, he still could not become as relaxed as he could in his favorite bookstore.

He once mentioned this phenomenon to Mokuba. The young boy had donned his innocent (read: dark and purely evil) grin, saying that it was because he was so deprived of any social interaction that just being near another human being would most likely make him hard. The great Seto Kaiba, stoic teen millionaire, turned bright read and _calmly_ stated – it was most definitely not a splutter, as Kaiba refused to call it later on. Powerful young CEOs did not splutter. It was highly undignified – an unconvincing threat to wash his mouth out with soap. Mokuba did not stop laughing until the brunette also threatened to turn off the cable. Mokuba instantly shut his mouth.

Well, social interaction or no, Kaiba loved his bookstore. Book in hand, tush in chair, he settled himself in for some quality reading time.

That was what he had in mind, at any rate. After a couple pages' worth of intriguing read (Kaiba had picked out a suspenseful mystery novel that had received great reviews, and already had him on the edge of his seat), Kaiba's silent atmosphere was shattered by a loud, obnoxious laugh. The CEO would later deny shooting three feet in the air, and would conveniently not be able to recall yelping in what could be mistaken for fright. Most definitely not.

What had caused this? A laugh. But this was not the laugh of someone with a sense of decency and respect to the unspoken rules of keeping a calm, quiet environment for those who wanted to enjoy in literary activities. No, this was obviously the laugh of someone who does not realize that their voice is so loud that it will cause blood to spurt from any eardrum within a twenty mile radius. This was also the laugh of someone who needed to _die_.

The brunette felt his eyebrow give a violent twitch. Maybe he had just had an extra stressful day at work, or maybe he was anxious over an upcoming meeting with an incompetent, and for some reason prospective, business partner. Whatever the reason, the young businessman knew he was running on a short fuse. And if he heard that laugh again, death would be had. Oh yes, it would.

Kaiba took a deep, calming breath. No. This was _his_ special relaxation time. He was _not_ going to let some annoyingly rude patron ruin that.

He sighed, shifting his weight to relax further into the fluffy seat cushions. He took another deep breath, arching his spine against the back of the armchair. After a small _pop_, he loosened his muscles once again and sighed, content. Finally ready to enjoy his solitary reading time, he licked his finger to turn the page, when—

"**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"**

--that _goddamned_ laugh resounded throughout the store again, causing Seto to jerk and rip his page in two. He scowled. Now he would have to buy that. And Mokuba's voice popped into his head, calling his a cheap bastard of a Scrooge. Seto frowned some more. Obviously, he reasoned, spending too much time in society was beginning to have an adverse side effect on his brain. People could have that effect on you.

Seto snapped the book shut. How was he supposed to enjoy himself when some idiot persisted on making all of that racket? An evil aura of Death and Despair began to form around him.

With narrowed eyes, Seto scanned the room, intent on locating the condemned and unfortunate corpse-to-be. Sweeping his eyes across the area, wishing he had invented a stupidity sensor to assist in his search of murderous intent, his gaze landed on a mop of messy blonde hair. For a moment, he wasn't quite sure why his eyes lingered. There stood a tall, lanky boy about his age manning the Customer Service help desk. He wore baggy khaki pants with a dress shirt that appeared to be hurriedly, and only partially, tucked in. He had strikingly unruly hair, and wide chocolate eyes that sparkled in merriment. Seto had a vague feeling that he might be drooling. Judging by the nametag on his person, the teen genius oh-so-brilliantly deduced that he was an employee.

The blonde boy appeared to be listening to another teen around the same age. He wore an easy, carefree smile, obviously amused at whatever the other boy had to say. Seto couldn't quite hear the conversation, but upon seeing this boy that had caught his eye about to open his mouth to speak, Seto unconsciously leaned forward, wanting to hear what he would say.

The blonde appeared to take in a deep breath, and-

"**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"**

Seto's eye twitched, and the torn page that had been crumpled in his hand combusted into flames.

_Him?!_ That horrendous, curse-upon-mankind laugh was coming from that gorgeous blonde _idiot_ who obviously wanted – and needed – to _die_?!

Seto stood up in a huff, and his glare caused everybody within the city limits to shiver. Somewhere, miles away, a confused meteorologist stared at his computer data, which was predicting a sudden blizzard. In the middle of July.

Well, that was fine by him. He would show that obnoxious – though admittedly cute – blonde punk what happened when you screwed around with Seto Kaiba and his precious reading time. He turned a slight shade of pink. _Screw_… His scowl deepened. He really needed to get out less. The side effects were worsening. His mind felt…dirty.

He stormed over towards the help desk, trying to _will_ the blonde into a quick and sudden death, that would preferably be antagonizing. Obviously, this blonde punk had no manners, as he did not immediately comply. In fact, he did not look anywhere near death. Kaiba mentally swore.

The blonde did, however, feel a prickling sensation as all the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end in warning to a possible psycho axe-murderer behind him. He stood frozen, silently debating the solidity of the hypothesis (though the blonde did not know the meaning of such a long word) that if he just closed his eyes, whoever was behind him would go away. He tried it, and slowly counted to three. He slowly pried one eyelid open, and timidly peeked over his shoulder.

Seto Kaiba glared nuclear missles at said blonde's person.

This, however, had the opposite effect that Kaiba had been hoping for. Instead of writhing on the ground in obvious misery, the blonde gave a sigh of relief, and smiled brightly. Seto was caught off guard for a second, momentarily mesmerized by the wide smile. It was kind of pretty…

Kaiba shook his head rather violently, mentally yelling at himself for being distracted. Intensifying his glare, he prepared to verbally beat the deserving brat into submission, when he suddenly froze.

Wait.

The blonde's smile had suddenly turned into a smirk.

Was he--? The brunette blanched. _Was he checking him out?!_

Kaiba felt his face turn red as the blonde unabashedly looked him up and down, leering as he lingered on a certain region below his belt that was most _definitely_ off limits. He had just been eye molested! How dare that punk think himself worthy to be graced with his presence!

"I'm Joey," the blonde finally spoke, and Kaiba was disgusted with himself for finding the employee's normal voice (when it wasn't caught in an evil screech that could barely pass for a laugh) even the slightest bit pleasing.

Kaiba was just about to tell Joey up where, exactly, he could shove his stupid hand, when the blonde spoke again, with a smug grin on his face. "You're cute."

Seto's jaw dropped open. Knowing he quite accurately resembled a fish, Kaiba could only simmer in embarrassment as he could not seem to stop his incoherent string of nonsensical words that all contained synonyms of the word, "Blugh?" Inwardly, Kaiba's mind was spazzing out in overdrive mode, making it very hard to think.

Then the blonde had to go and lean over the desk, smug smirk never leaving his face and – wow, his breath smells nice. Joey continued forward until their faces were mere millimeters apart, one looking quite haughty and the other looking quite like a sunburned tomato. Seto couldn't help but think that he had very nice brown eyes. Maybe this guy might not be so bad. He was kind of cute, after all.

With a provocative wink, and still grinning, the blonde asked, "Are you free tonight?" And then made an obvious show of trailing his eyes down to his censored to protect underage readers.

And that's when Kaiba stopped breathing. W-was that a proposition?! Okay, forget the might-not-be-so-bad crap. It was official. He was standing in the presence of a mad psycho rapist.

The blonde reached out and trailed a finger down the brunette's jaw line. Seto's brain was screaming at him, _Run away, you idiot! This guy is going to take advantage of you and rape your ass and dump your sad body into the river. Do you really want that?_ Seto shook his head. No, not really. That did not sound pleasant. Not _at all_. His feet, however, seemed perfectly fine with ignoring the pleas of his brain and staying planted right where they were.

The blonde's voice was deep and husky, ghosting over the brunette's face. "I can make it worth your while." And in that instant, Kaiba realized with utmost horror that Mokuba was right about his lack of social interaction as all the blood left his face for a different head.

Oh dear God.

He was getting a hard on.

The last thing he heard in the bookstore was the blonde laughing his head off, and shouting out cheerily that it had only been a joke. The blood curdling laugh still rang in his eardrums.

And later, Kaiba would deny running away like a little sissy girl.

* * *

Haha! Oh my, I can't believe how much fun that was. Maybe because it's past one in the morning, and I'm somewhat slap-happy. Maybe my sense of humor is just plain _weird_. Ah well, it was fun, and that's that.

But you all should review!!! Because it shall make me happy, and I will write more really quickly!!

Periwinkle-blue button says: PUSH ME!


	2. Mokuba

Oh my! I can't believe how many reviews I've got!! rubs eyes just to make sure Oh wow!! You guys are so great. Really!

A big thank you to: Princess Miyazawa, SilentZombies (thanks Max!), casaragi, sk, Drachenaugen, Lystee, Arisa Akita, and Fish Head the 3rd and Co for reviewing, and everybody who added me to your favorites or alerts! You guys are seriously the best!

Okay, now that I have sufficiently groveled at all of your feet... This chapter was kind of hard to write. Why? Because I have this awful habit of writing a chapter of a story, and then posting it without any second thought of where I would even want it to go. So I sat in front of my computer thinking, 'Well, crap. Now what?' But now I've got some ideas! n.n Uh, also... so Joey isn't really in this chapter... But have no fear!!! He will be in the next one causing loads of trouble for Seto, because he is so fun to torture!!

Enjoy!

**Bookstores and Puppies**

Chapter 2

* * *

Mokuba loved his brother. 

He knew that deep down – around 6.3 miles down – Seto was a very kind man. The young boy had respected him all of his life. Kaiba was the strongest person he knew. He was always calm and collected, and in times of crisis, the elder Kaiba brother always had a plan ready. If he was ever scared of anything, he would never show it in a noble attempt to protect Mokuba from worrying. He never seemed to let anything affect him, never seemed to have any sort of weakness. He was also the bravest person he knew.

So when Kaiba slammed the front door to the mansion open and stormed inside, running to his room screaming something about _"eye molestation," _and _cooties_, the raven haired boy felt that he was perfectly justified when, after realizing Seto had barricaded himself into his room and dead bolted the door (and unbeknownst to the younger Kaiba, also reinforced it by pushing his desk, dresser, and nightstand against said door), he ran to the garage to fetch a chainsaw.

"Big Brother," Mokuba warned, "open this door right now."

A muffled _"No"_ was the only reply that floated through the door (and other furniture) attempting to separate Kaiba and the outside world. And Mokuba would have sworn, if it was not completely against the laws of the universe, that it sounded like the CEO had been _pouting_.

And somewhere in the world, a kitten instantly combusted.

"I mean it," the younger teen plowed on, fisted hands resting on his hips. "Don't make me come in there after you." Fully aware of the irony in the role reversal, he resisted the urge to role his eyes. Honestly. And _he_ was supposed to be the more immature one.

He pressed his ear to the door, all the better to hear a reply from his beloved brother. No answer. He strained his ear a little more, and thought he heard a small noise inside. Was that a--? Mokuba's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. _Was that a sniffle?!_

Completely disturbed – and rightfully so, as the sound of a sniffling Kaiba is not one that leaves you with a warm and fuzzy feeling (but instead usually makes one want to throw themselves off the nearest cliff) – Mokuba revved up the chainsaw. Something was seriously afoot here, and no force on heaven or earth would stop the younger Kaiba in his quest to found out what it was.

Several seconds later, Mokuba stood in the remains of what had once been a beautiful (and expensive) door. It now resembled sawdust. Stepping over a small pile of decimated woodchips, he surveyed the mess with thoughtful grey eyes, vaguely wondering if he had gone slightly overboard.

...Nah.

Inside, Seto Kaiba paused in his trying to set fire to the pillows on his bed by the intense heat of his glare alone, and slowly gazed up at the new hole in his wall, face suddenly a blank mask.

Mokuba belatedly realized that maybe knocking down (read: obliterating completely and totally beyond any sort of recognition) Kaiba's door may not have been the smartest decision in the world. Cringing, he waited for the impending tide of grounding to start. _Not the cable, not the cable,_ he mentally chanted. _I will spear you in your sleep if you take away my morning cartoons._ Never let it be said that Mokuba wasn't just the _sweetest_ little angel.

After a few seconds, Mokuba chanced a quick glance up at his brother. Kaiba was still staring at the now empty space between the doorposts with a glazed look to his eye.

Now, a normal person would be shocked and angered over the sudden need for a new door. A normal person would be horrified by a twelve-year-old using a chainsaw, and indoors no less. A normal person would be furious at this turn of events. Seto Kaiba, however, is not a normal person.

Seto raised his hand to stroke his chin in a thoughtful manner. His eyes narrowed in his shrewed, calculating stare that has sent more than one fully grown man running away, screaming for his mommy. Slowly – oh so slowly – a small grin began to form on his face. Mokuba began to worry. This was not Seto's 'I'm so proud of you I'm going to give you your Christmas presents early this year' kind of smile – not that Mokuba had ever seen _that_ smile (though he certainly kept his hopes up).

No. This was a different kind of smile. A smile that oh so clearly said 'I'm going to slowly murder you in a thousand and one ways, but not until _after_ I have torn out your bleeding entrails and use them to hang you from the nearest structure over seven feet tall. And then I will poison your corpse and feed it to your pet kitten.'

It was _that_ kind of smile.

Kaiba abruptly stood up, still grinning with an expression that was, in all likelihood, far beyond insanity. "It's perfect!" the normally stoic teen all but cheered. "It couldn't possibly be any better!"

Mokuba stood with his jaw hanging wide open, fighting the urge to faint. Oh dear God, he had just single handedly destroyed his brother's sanity. He ran over to the brunette, who was now beginning to mutter to himself, and pressed his hand to his forehead. No fever. That was good, at least.

"Big brother, are you okay?" Large grey eyes peered worriedly into widened blue ones.

Almost instantly, Kaiba snapped out of it, returning to his present task into glaring a hole into the pristine pillowcase before him. "I'm busy, Mokuba. Go away." At the derisive snort in regard to his present state of sitting on his bed obviously not doing a _damned_ thing, Kaiba scowled. "I'm busy _plotting_. This takes a great deal of concentration."

Mokuba raised an eyebrow in a command for clarification.

Kaiba sighed. If he didn't give Mokuba an explanation, he knew he would be waking up to honey, glue, and all other sorts of nasty, sticky liquids in every single pair of shoes he owned. Which was a lot. As embarrassing as it was, he knew better. Hell hath no fury like a Mokuba deprived of his gossip.

The brunette took a deep breath. "There is someone currently in employment at the bookstore who is keeping me from entering there again. I have been plotting how to cover up his murder to make it look like an accident, while making it the most slow and agonizing experience as possible. I had been considering bleeding to death by means of castration with a rusty spoon. But now—" he grinned up at the space his door previously occupied, "I think total obliteration would be much better." He folded his arms and nodded to himself, looking quite content with his new plan. "Make it so not even the dental records are identifiable."

Mokuba stared. And stared. And just to be safe, stared some more.

And then burst into a fit of giggles, rolling off the bed in his mirth with a loud _'thump.'_ Seto was not as amused. In fact, he was feeling very much put off; this was not the reaction he had been hoping for. _He_ thought it had been a great plan, dammit!

"Come on, Seto, seriously. What are you doing?" Mokuba questioned with an easy grin. Kaiba found himself scowling as that grin reminded him of the cute, perverted, ill-fated worker from before.

He directed a blank stare towards Mokuba's being. When the young boy realized that Seto _was_, indeed, considering murder, his jaw dropped open, staring in what was obvious reverence at Seto for being such a brave and intelligent man for thinking of the quickest, most effective way to eliminate his problems.

That was Seto had _wanted_ the little brat to do, at least. He had most definitely _not_ wanted the small punk to begin laughing even harder.

Wiping an imaginary tear from his eye, Mokuba managed to crawl back up from the floor where he had been having a seizure – Seto decided that the poor boy had suddenly developed epilepsy. He refused to believe that his kind, sweet brother would ever ridicule one of his plans – and cheerily asked, "So what has this employee done to keep you from going back? It must have been something good. Usually it would take an act of God to keep you from going there."

_Or an attempt to rape and deflower me,_ Kaiba sullenly thought to himself, feeling his face heat up in recollection of the prior events of the day.

Mokuba's heart stopped. Seto Kaiba was blushing?! It had to be Armageddon.

Then he donned his impish, Cheshire cat grin, asking in a teasing voice, "Would this certain employee happen to be cute, at all?"

Seto bristled. What kind of question was that?! _I will not blush, I will not blush, I will not blush. Blushing is for little sissy __**girls.**_

Mokuba's answer was the heat from Seto's face increasing global warming by at least fifteen degrees.

In an attempt to salvage the minute shreds of dignity he had left, he arranged his face into his most fearsome scowl – which, unfortunately for the brunette, Mokuba was completely immune to – growling, "He won't be after I'm through with him."

Stifling a grin, Mokuba gave a fake gasp of shock. "Big brother, I didn't know you were into S & M!"

As the world temperature grew another thirty degrees, causing the South Pole to melt entirely, and Kaiba nearly fell off the bed, he made a mental note to put parental locks on all TV channels except for the Disney channel. And even then he would have to closely monitor it. Damn Mokuba's cable.

"I meant that I was going to maim him beyond all recognition!" Seto Kaiba most certainly did _not_ cry out in exasperation, for that would be most shameful for someone of his stature.

Mokuba regained his stern expression, his fists finding their way back to his hips. "No, you won't." Seto raised his eyebrows in slight disbelief, but the younger boy continued on, ignoring this. "What you _are_ going to do, big brother, is march straight back to that bookstore and get that cute guy's phone number!"

Seto resisted the urge to hiss. _Like Hell I am, you conniving little brat of a brother._

"You never get out, and I worry about you. You need someone in your life who will care for you—"

_You mean rape me,_ Kaiba mentally added, just slightly bitter.

"—and you are not coming back here until you have got a date. Do you hear me?"

_Yeah? Let's see if I get you anything for your birthday this year. What's that? You want a new TV? Well, too bad for you. All you're getting is __**death.**_

As if reading his older brother's thoughts, Mokuba continued on in that annoying tone of voice that mothers too often use with stubborn little children, despite the fact that Seto was several years Mokuba's elder. "I'm doing this for your own good, you know."

_No, you're trying to kill me. After all I've done for you, you're going to hand me to the first mad ass-rapist you can find. Not if I have anything to say. I'm not doing it and that's final._

Mokuba stared at him expectantly, tapping his foot on the carpeted floor of Kaiba's bedroom.

_You can't make me. Nothing will make me leave this spot here._

Then Mokuba hit below the belt, and utilized his secret weapon: Puppy Dog Eyes.

_Damn you, you little brat. Damn you to __**Hell**_

Replying in what was certainly a haughty tone – Kaiba would like it be known that it was not a grumble, as he would never do something as immature and childish as acknowledging his defeat to his little brother in any way – he mumbled something about going back the next day. And under his breath, something about changing his murder plans to include a certain raven haired brat. Mokuba pretended not to hear.

As Mokuba prepared to skip out of the room, Kaiba's voice called him back.

"Can I at least blackmail him into quitting his job? That would just save everybody a whole lot of trouble," he almost pleaded. If only he knew how right he was.

After a stern "No," Kaiba turned to the corner and _sulked_. Sulked!

And somewhere in the universe, an entire planet exploded.

* * *

Ugh, like I said, that was really hard! I got halfway through writing it, and then scrapped it and started over. This one is better I think. And I swear I shall never get tired of making life miserable for poor Seto! n.n 

Anyways, I shall get the next part out soon. I really have no idea if it will be the last chapter or if it will go on for a while (again, the inability for me to plan in advance...), but if you REVIEW it will motivate me to write it faster! Yay for quick updates!

unashamed of blatant attempts to get readers to review

Odd purplish blue button says: PUSH ME!


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